melea* writing & lyrics

2007-02-12T00:22:00.000-08:00

* archived poetry/lyrics.

untitled.

he hung dream catchers for her
would sing a bird trill to call her
in the mornin' he would brush her hair and wash her
hold her in his arms and give his seed to her

he dressed her in pretty rags and ribbons
he would fool around to soothe her moody rhythms
she would shower him with little kisses
she even thought she might like to be his missus

when her hand was in his the sun would shine
the bird's would sing and love was kind
and if she was sad he would ask why
and if she was a little bad he didn't mind

he wrote love letters for he adored her
read her books that he stored for her
made her tea when she got angry
made her life easier cos he was so handy

he whittled his love into wood
drew her pictures so that she understood
how much he loved her green cinnamon speckled eyes
how her body near him made him rise

how big his love was
how true his heart was
how unconditional and accepting
and loving and special

she wept a sea of tears when he left
stared at his hand imprint on her wall
wanted only him and nothing more

she said, i'll wait for you for as long as it takes
but the years they dragged on..
until she could wait no more
forever was too long

without him she had grown into woman
and so she found another man to love
never forgetting the love that she'd let go of
and so she learned to love once more
keeping a space for him in her heart
in a room with a door ajar.

letting go ~ hu
2005.

continental isolation

continental separation you are not near
continental isolation i’m feeling the fear
an absence that spans the Pacific Ocean
an unfulfilled desire, unexpressed emotion

i prophesised our parting
you have left me i’m not laughing
instead i cry a thousand tears
i need the catharsis I need to be clear

i live as i die, alone
partake in my journey as you walk your own.
you live it, i’ll breathe it, peruse this earthly space
i know i’ve got a lifetime to figure out my place.

well i’d like to fly to the land of Pan
you could fly by me, you could be my man
i know no-one’s going to show me everything
kiss me deeply, love me lightly,
help me find my love within.

2001.
long distance lovin'
cambodia.

Illicit

I’m not strong enough to see you today
I’m not good enough in my eyes
How is it that I care so much what you think of me
I see you been lookin’ out for me on the local grapevine

Chorus.

I can’t work you out the mystery’s alluring
You’re cynical and angry, there’s so much inside
You’re walking the talk, your words are explicit
Action is ambiguous, your manner is implicit

Darling you are illicit
Darling you are illicit

Movin’ too fast gotta take a step back
This fatal game of mutual attraction
Feelings change like a turn in the weather
Two hands reaching out seeking a connection
Yet so scared of rejection

Chorus.

I wish to have a magnifying glass
To magnify your precious totality
The jewels and the stars in my eyes witness you
To be a mirror to your soul or just another casualty

2002

All my eggs in your basket.

I met a black angel,
Who took me to the edge,
Showed me my life’s purpose,
Now I stand on the ledge.
A bright, white light search light
leaves all else in darkness,
Thrust into the light,
All is revealed.

Plato said reason should rule over body,
Over the irrational appetite of soul,
I see the sense in
Mind’s reign over body
But in taming this desire,
I construct a cage of control.

Chorus.

Why have I put all my eggs in your basket,
If this all ends in tears I know I have asked for it.
C’mon baby now don’t you be shy,
Don’t you agree it’s time we gave this a try.
Come here baby, make me cry.

This crazy quest,
To hit the wicket,
Is a wild card,
is a ticket to escape from myself.
The day it turns to night,
The Geese migrate,
the seasons change,
I plead, with my wanderlust
To calm down, please.

Let it all go
Release those thoughts to tomorrow,
You can find that love you seek inside yourself,
Breathe him out,
Let him go,
If it is meant to be
One day, he you will know

Chorus.

Bridge.

Guided by auntie’s, tough love I hear,
Wisdom of my forefathers, I adhere,
To the ancient law of the wise man’s way,
I draw a shield, I try to walk away.

And yet the wind pulls me to you,
You are a light, like a moth to flame I flew.
My mother she softly urges prevention.
Perhaps she is right to disapprove of my intention.

She peers at me with her sweet brown eyes,
And sees a twinkle in mine,
I cannot disguise, at which she cries,
A sensible mother’s protest,
I should do what she says, she usually knows best.

So hush now my thoughts
that stray across the seas
In the bliss of the now
Life is a breeze
I smile upon the world
Low and behold it smiles back!
the gods applaud,I’ve got it right,
I’m finally on track!

Seemingly invisible,
Always indivisible
As we seek the wisdom,
that waits in the wings.
I move it slow, adagio
I won’t cede my ideals,
The power of the positive,
Like a wind at my back.

2005

Mother

After a lifetime of spending solace by the sea
Swallowing the salt to heal my wounds
Clear, jewel laden nights,
and fat, full bellied moons
I behold the forces of mother nature’s moods

Chorus

She’s got the blues / she’s got the blues
She’s got the blues / she’s got the blues
She’s got the blues / she’s got the blues
Yeah, Yeah.

Sheltering under the purest canopies
To shade sunkissed tired bodies
Wandering thru’ woven threads of time and space
Of wind and sky,
Hey do you see this tree,
she’ll live many times longer than I.

Chorus

Zany, orange, red, peaceful amber evenings
Unfurling life and baby seedlings
Endless arid desert and indigenous plains
Revolting at uranium deposits
and radioactive stains

Bridge

She Wolf says to me she is slowly dying
Too many of us are just are not trying
Politicians turning their backs
on this beautiful Earth
If we sit back and watch her die
what will we all be worth?

Chorus.

Expansive moments
of stillness and introspection
I’m feeling the connection
Surviving the abuse of exploitation
A call for recreation
We’re pummelling at her heart
Unknowingly we ache with her
Just another day on Earth

Chorus

A lifetime of human, creature,
of plant or stone
No one superior to the other
All are star dust,
and children of Mother.

tilly jemima.
2005.

tonight i visited an old friend, a mumma girl -
she lives by the tree by the sea -
she moved on when i had to leave her
even though i was only away for such a short time.

she was buddha's smile and the most ultimately
peaceful being that i had spent time with
in many years during those dynamic uni days.

i choose her to be who she was because
when i was young someone who knew so much
had asked me to test on animals.

and of everyone - i knew instantly that
i could not...even though most people did.

i sat and watched everyone else do so
and wondered if there were others
elsewhere that did not want to test on animals
- or any living thing.

because of a man of science asking me to do so
i walked to an animal liberation rally
and wrote a project about such things.

i remembered snow white
and the stories that were read to me
when i was small by a lady learning
her third language.

...tonight i visited an old friend, a baby girl -
she lives by the tree by the sea
she moved on when i had to leave her
even though i was only away for such a short time.

from what people tell me of her beautiful race -
she stayed here on earth for
quite a long time comparitively...

i used to take her with me
everywhere i could and everyone
loved her very much
because she was the dearest heart.

she played with so many human people during her life.

tonight i visited her by the sea by a tree
where now there stands a cafe and
chairs and tables and seats that are quite lovely.

but i was folorn for a moment because spatialy
the dimensions of the space had changed
and i knew only of the basic place
where upon she lay.

the night that i buried her - accompanied by a lovely lady -
the lady that read books to me when i was small -
two other lovely ladies of the same kind -
of the same ages, once young and one mature -
asked me why i had chosen
to visit this lovely place by the sea?

and so i told them that i had to go somewhere
where some nice people had said
she was not allowed to be
and so, tilly jemima had gone away too.

i remember these ladies so well -
for one lady i admired very much -
i recognised that she was good hearted and kind.

not long after tilly jemima had gone
i decided that i could not ask for another tilly
because she was always happiest free.

she was so clever! she would
do the most amazing things and i often
felt wonder toward her creativity, athleticism,
language and love.

she remained this way until her last day even
after she had been hurt time and time again
by those of her race that also loved her immensely.

i was distraught that i had not found out about this
until long after her suffering began.

tilly jemima is under a tree by the sea
near a nice little cafe where people
sit and drink warm drinks by the bay.

during her life she played with her two darling
siblings - not of her own blood but of two different families.
amety fae and moe ran to her often for affection.

she played and stayed in a big, big house with
some of her blood siblings from her litter and her
mumsy and daddy at her dear friend's house
a woman who is also a lady and a beautiful leader.

she was much loved by the lady who read to me
and the kind brother who cared for her sometimes.

i have written so much more about little tilly!
and i have not visited her for some time
so tonight was special for that reason.

tilly trusted me unequivocally, unconditionally
and with a purity of character that still astounds me.
she lived on land where before her lived a canary,
a white, yellow crested cockatoo (that was set free by a kind brother's friend and who may well have lived for many, many years since we last saw him), a labradore/german shepherd, a budgerigar,
a little scottish terrier, a turtle that ran away - and many others animals that visited!

when tilly and her own beautiful babies
of her race moved on i decided that
birds flying free were animals that could visit when
they felt that they would like to
and they do, often.

i thought of tilly often during those years.
she outlived her blood sister and brothers
who looked so much like her and who
played with her so nicely and lovingly.
they even played in hammocks! though they should
not have been kept - they were born to be free.

i think of tilly still and send blessings and love.

i called for her tonight and am quite certain
that i saw one of three or so places where she rests.
she is under the soil of the lady earth and
beneath the heavens of papa sky...

just like so many of the animal and human world
that have graced this planet.

my last thought for the time being is that she loved
the cd 'ultralounge'. this was her favourite cd to play to.

how i lamented saying goodbye to her and how i missed
her little soul. i wondered tonight where she is now.

dedicated to tilly, a girl rat with as much worth as every other animal or sentient being on this planet, mr hills, my mum - a lady, keara from school and her mumma, a big family of good heart and spirit, a poppy, aunties and uncles of heart, a trevi fountain, all those that cannot be named, nanny she - a mother of vietnam lands who loved small babies and cared for me - and most importantly - all the animals and humans of lady earth and papa sky that have walked, run, swum or flown this planet and passed on...to the elemental land that loves them.

2007-02-07T05:38:00.000-08:00

* more excerpts from documented travels in america. 2005/06

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Tue Nov 29, 2005 3:55 pm

a beautiful night with a peruvian guy who is doing his masters in economics, he is a tutor and was at michael's gig on friday night. (wonder-full) i had said i'd head out of town with yoga rob but could not see his van when i walked out of the theatre and decided to cab back with peruvian gonzalo, also waiting for a cab. turns out he lives in an apartment only 2 blocks from where i have all of my stuff stored in a more serene, clean part of SF downtown. his apartment is beautiful! and he is beautiful! turning on my heels and heading in his direction on this night was for the best, i feel a have a lot to learn from him. i love how the universe serves to protect, nurture and steer us in the right direction if only we have the trust, faith and sense to allow it to.

so perhaps, i will head to peru instead of mexico. after seeing footage of peru in 'the motorcycle diaries' (film about che guevra) i am ultra inspired to see peru! i am also keen to go to where the weather is warm! the next day, saturday in SF was fresh and sunny- i was happy & hand in hand with a new found lover. gentle rain pitter patters - contemplative and cosy, i am cool with it - a beautiful lady with a bubba called snow whom i met at the family gig at the fillmore sat arvo told me that there has not been much snow yet this season. some people i have met are here to work on the snowfields in canada & america and i think i would like to go to lake tahoe to ski for a day. having a background in dance, you'd think i'd have good balance however the one time i got on a mate's skateboard when i was 14, i fell off and sprained my ankle! (due to weak ankles from many years of netball). the one time i went skiiing, the skiiing part was fine but i couldn't manage to get off the chairlift! the whole diagnol walking in the snow threw me! i hope to give skiiing or snowboarding a try again one day. heading back to the hostel to meet some people and go to dinner - i need good sleep tonight.

who knows what tomorrow shall hold in store for me in this animated, thriving city! i am thankful to have met so many angels who have guided me on my way, inluding the angel who catalysed the journey itself. some goddessés are doing ritual on thurs that i will hopefully attend:-) originally i planned to stay in sanfran for 2 weeks - i have been here 4 nights and feel i could stay longer and perhaps even find work -i love the feel of things here...people seem to lose their tempers easily but they are also very, very friendly, generous, good spirited and open. i have noted many more cultural and political observations and will write them another time. for now, rest is important, so on that note, i try to calm the impulse to be excessive and let myself settle. i am glad to be here, as i knew it was a wise move that would give rise to growth when i decided to head this way.

rainbows of light and love ~

(the weekend before i left to san fran i was at a wedding on the coast in lorne, near melbourne, australia. in the afternoon, the edge of a rainbow materialised out of the sea. it is not everyday that a rainbow greets you with it's magik so i made tracks toward the sea. a half hour later, after we had gone for a nudy swim (some did, i didn't want to catch a cold), most people returned to the reception but i sat by a fire that a jabiluka activist had created. the brother was telling me about some logging coups that were being held in the area the following week. so, we sat talking about stuff and many miles across the sea, the other side of the rainbow appeared in the distance. there, i witnessed the two ends of this rainbow gift, sprouting from the sea and was silenced by the universe's magik.

i wonder how other people interpreted the rainbow for patrick and nemone (the groom and bride) had 2 dolphins, a tree of life and a rainbow on their wedding invitation ...to me, the rainbow was a path from one end of the southern hemisphere to the other (the northern). i saw it as a clear sign from the universe to forge a path to some place i had never seen and from the moment i touched down, although weary and in need of rest, it felt right and it certainly does feel as though i begin to walk the path of spirit these next few months. more than ever i wish to walk with peace and in harmony. with love and light ~ and so it seems the wheels are in motion, and i am closer to feeling free - the first time i have felt so since i flitted to my heart's content last holidays, more than 11 months ago.

fire! water ~ spirit * air + love = light ^ peace - all kinds make life, all kinds beautiful ... balance ...

love mel in downtown sanfrancisco

Wed Nov 30, 2005 3:28 pm

i'm beginning to really enjoy the american accent, it is beautifully round and many people i have met speak it softly and gracefully. many others speak it passionately and loud and that's all good too! people are so animated here! people argue and banter on buses, in the library, anywhere and everywhere!

did a yoga class last night led by darren main, he had some q's bout aust, says he has crossed paths with many aussie's this past week and has been thinking of heading to sydney and melb. to take up an offer to teach. i am not too sore today though the class was rigorous. the 2 instructors i have had over 4 years in melb on and off have been wise aunty elder yogi's (i am always happier and feel healthier in mind, body and spirit when i am practicing yoga and dance regularly)

soon to the asian art museum. the civic centre is grand, the architecture and antiquated design is intricate and dramatic. the history of sanfran is interesting, the hostel i've been staying at (132 mason, if anyone heads here, it is simple but the walls are like a museum, covered with info and they have good facilities. plus i am 2 blocks from the pine street apartments where a sexy peruvian surfer resides!

blessings and zing, mel xoxox

Sat Dec 03, 2005 3:45 pm

a good yoga cleanse @ the yoga tree. i got a bit dizzy in the semi-heated session (was still a good session, will return to do it again this week). three girls including myself were accidently 'locked in' after a class i did on wednesday. everyone went home and we were still in the dressing rooms!!! i figure, i am supposed to be hanging there, doing some classes!!! ...we spent a half hour on the phone trying to work out how to secure the studio before leaving and at the end of the minor fiasco were offerred a free class for our time! thus i spent the night with two strong women drinking cocktails and listening to jazz on mission st (bissap and la solea and other cafes on mission st. are also great!). networked with a piano teacher who tutors at the community jazz school a few blocks away, i may even be able to get some lessons while i am in town!

*stars in the night sky, pull me higher, feet and hands touch the earth, grounding me deeper, body shakes, torso grooves, moving me wilder, arms flow, back arches, releasing me milder.

Thu, Dec 8 2005 2:16:27 PM -0600

ate at a funky senegalese restaraunt that reminds me of 'lentil as anything' & sang last night with radioactive - the beatboxer/M.C who accompanies michael. he and michael are a formidable pair when they play together, two powerful energies that complement eachother well. made some good music contacts last night and am feeling ultra inspired. the guys that radio plays with are great - they are brothers - they feel familiar and remind me of others i know back home. they are also talented musicians. radio's credentials are big - he has played with spearhead for 5 years and has his own projects up and running - he is very, very good at what he does - i almost can't believe that we sounded as good as we did together. we jammed over an electronica duo called 'moped' who are interested in getting me into the studio with radio to put something down. radio has even mentioned doing something in a studio. i'd like to put some stuff down here for people to use and loop if they like for future projects. so he was doing his thing, i was doing a jazzy, tribal layered scat thing - like i have done with NZ rhian when his crew comes to town. i feel a bit out of practice but people seemed to like it. 5 of us kicked on at radio's friend dave's house last night - (dave is a rockin' sax player - really knows his stuff - talked to me about various players - i felt like i was hanging out with one of my VCA lecturers) good to hang out with a crew of guys - grounding.

also checked out an amazing museum that opened last sat - MOAD - museum of the african diaspora. the staff were lovely and there is a big, big multimedia display on the roots of music (african and latin) in america - wrote pages and pages of notes on the history of jazz and the various musical genre's that have stemmed from african music. the asian art museum has one of the largest jade collections in america and one of the largest overall asian art collections in the northern hemispere - breath taking - it is an an exsquisite museum.

connecting with goddess sisters and lots of varied crew. shared a room with a pro volleyball player from L.A who took me under his wing for a day - a lovely woman from perth who has been living in london for a year - 3 jewish sth african angels!

Sat Dec 10, 2005 9:51 pm

'the mountain does not laugh at the river because it is lowly, nor does the river speak ill of the mountain because it does not move about. everyone has their own characteristics and gains their own position in life therefore respect all. everyone we meet is superior to us in some way, everyone is the master of something.'

shaolin temple institute

2007-02-06T19:00:00.000-08:00

*miscellaneous writing.

A dear friend Shanaka asked me to write him a reference and in doing so I was able to remind myself of a beautiful period of journeying in my life with community.

Reference for Shanaka Fernando
Australian of the Year Nominee 2006.

Shanaka is known throughout St Kilda and the broader Melbourne community as the peaceful, smiling Sri Lankan visionary who conceptualised the Lentil as Anything Co-operative 'pay as you feel for what you eat' philosophy.

The original Lentil As Anything restaurant in Blessington Street, St Kilda has for many years now, provided a buzzing hub for countless community minded people to gather & eat in the spirit of equality & common humanity in an open setting of non-judgment - truly a place for all, no matter their creed, colour or economic status. Lentil as Anything has gradually evolved into a dynamic meeting point where people gather for a delicious vegetarian/vegan meal or to chat over a chai. People often pay a visit to see if Shanaka himself is there!

Today, the four Lentil As Anything outlets (St Kilda, Abbotsford Convent, Sydney Road and Lentils as Africa, Sydney Road) provide a haven where ideas are canvassed & brought to fruition, painting, drawing & decoration unfurls in Lentil journals or on walls (and in one memorable case, on chairs - resulting in impressively individual chairs to seat patrons), art exhibitions rotate, monthly open mic/poetry nights (Lentils Bash) come to life, annual street festivals ignite and catering is provided at festivals. Refugees are also able to participate in an English learning program & are sheltered by the Lentil community.

Shanaka has overseen difficult financial hardship within the co-operative as well as much controversy through the grassroots process of people negotiating their way through collective action & team work. He has made significant financial sacrifice to launch the Lentil as Anything vision and continues to work tirelessly, often being told that he needs to take a step back to rest. His presence on a ground level, cooking & serving day to day and calling the staff to check in when he is not there, is testament to his egalitarian grass roots ethos.

Shanaka is deeply respected and loved by all who know his gentle spirit, both for who he is and what he has achieved not only for himself but for all those he has embraced and touched with his vision and for the nurturing of the vision itself. Patrons from interstate, overseas & within Melbourne have been touched & refreshed by the inspiring Lentil As Anything experience. Gratitude felt toward Shanaka is in recognition of his commitment and for planting a seed that has grown into something very beautiful and deeply nourishing for so many staff & patrons over the years.

Evermore calm & full of peace, Shanaka's presence is a rare gift that brings a smile and laughter to many. For Shanaka is indeed the jester, the village fool in disguise who possesses wisdom, often in the form of poetic social commentary or clever, quirky humour & parables or jokes that keep you on your toes! Renowned for his repore with local councilors, his thoughtful & warm manner, for arriving in Sri Lanka on holiday with only his bicycle & the contents in it's front basket, for camping out on the Elwood Beach foreshore for months and his ironic collision on his bicycle with an expensive car that landed him in hospital with serious injuries, the casualties of his mission.

His jest however, is underpinned by thoughtful intelligence & analysis of current affairs, a knowledge of law (from the beginnings of a law degree), world politics & spiritual ideas. Shanaka is also a performer of poetry and a musician - a drummer with rhythm in his bones, a dancer with Africa in his soul and the father of a beautiful little girl. Whilst he prefers to blend in with the co-operative and protests at past references to him as the 'boss'! he is unmistakably a leader of people aspiring to the highest ideals of serving community through food for the soul. Through his trust in people to responsibly manage the restaurants and his belief in the inherent goodness & worth of all peoples, Shanaka has come to represent a beacon of hope & goodwill.

Lentil As Anything is unique because it has provided an opportunity for so many individuals to develop a voice; to serve in a space of light and love; to learn vocational skills such as cooking, waitressing, event management accounting & catering as well as life lessons through kindness, tolerance, understanding & acceptance of the many walks of life that share the Lentil space. Patrons are continually surprised & enlivened by the 'no set prices' ideological offering and the concept has indeed become somewhat of a legend that is spoken of far and wide with affection and enthusiasm.

I feel honoured to recommend Shanaka for this award for I believe whole heartedly in his vision and through 2 ½ years of working in the co-operative & 5 years of involvement in the Lentils community, have experienced the magnitude of the affect of his vision and the impact that this has had on the community. I have seen people with little reason for hope share in the song of life through feeling as though they are allowed to participate in a free space where they are usually rejected. I have also seen people who have endured suffering on the streets or through drug abuse, find an identity and a purpose through their involvement in the supportive environs of the collective. I have watched many people define themselves through this space as they have allowed it to create the foundation for who they are and what they would like to stand for in this life, or complement their current beliefs.

I recently spoke to Shanaka about a young African man who he has visited in prison (admitted for petty crime) throughout the year and who is going to begin working at Lentils after confinement for many years in Australian detention centers & prison system. Shanaka showed me the bedroom he has prepared in his own home for this young man who has suffered greatly. Humbled by this display of compassion & generosity, I am reminded of these small acts that have the power to change the world, one small step at a time. Shanaka has dedicated his life to taking these small steps that are part of his long walk, toward the highest ideals of humanity and the brightest horizons of the future. Many have followed and will follow in his footsteps, adding their own individual imprints to the beautiful path he has pioneered.

For more information about Lentil As Anything refer to:
http://www.lentilasanything.com/

Whilst Shanaka did not win 'Australian of the Year', he was awarded 'Local Hero' for the founding of his not-for-profit restaraunt group.

2007-02-05T02:38:00.000-08:00

*excerpts from: journey's to thai lands 2007.

Thu Jan 04, 2007 12:00 am

i had a wisdom tooth removed yesterday...youch!! jan 3 heralds the ful mun', my mentrual bleeding begins too (i wish i had a red women's tent i could rest in)...a dentist's chair, a kind thai dentist who is accustomed to his western patients freaking out in a way that the thai's grace does not cause them to! he repeats to me, 'please, please, i do very slowly for you'!! he is my auntie's dentist and a good one:) i have stepped quietly into the thai lands, meeting first with my brother and his girlfriend & then a 'secret' hostel that is truly amazing & filled with musicians and calm folk and a thai host who greets me with healing hands, tantra of a sensual kind (& i have given myself permission to say 'no' inside:) reading & sleeping and diving into the lushness of thai cuisine and the soft tones. the heat is cooler than i remember it, i am keen to find tranquil waters once again in the south, remembering the islands. i am looking most forward to the hills of the north and cannot wait to fulfill my shopping/buying for business missions! the new design lines here will please many back home! i am grateful for the small things here~ bathing morning & night with a silver pail, beginning each morning with yoga, thai teak houses, papaya salads, sweet & sour soups, lemongrass, fruits of sweet & succulent exotic flavours. tribal thai silver jewellery made by the karan people north-east of thailand in struggling burmese lands, a new flashy airport that is lit up like a christmas tree! finding satisfying joy through speaking the growing thai that i have learnt through thai language classes last year. the thai's smile when i speak their language with my clumsy tones! (i know many more words in thai than i am able to speak with the correct falling or rising intonation. thai is a very tonal language and 1 word said with incorrect inflections can often indicate an entirely different meaning interestingly many thai words are derived from sanskrit/india or vice-versa). ...i am going now for a thai massage, to go within, to find a moment's peace & a kind hand. to let my intuition guide me to peaceful places, as my african friend guided himself straight to me this morning. looking for me from far away... more impressions to follow though not too many, i would rather be present on this journey and quietly murmur reflections within at times rather than propelling myself outwards on a journey that gently suggests i quietly rest within.

Tue Jan 09, 2007 7:21 am

i am in the southern province of ranong tonight en route to the rainbow gathering on the beach some hours from here. it is wonderful to find tranquility and a low-key vibe in a small town away from the thrum of bangkok. i am also very close to khao lak where i volunteered for a week at the morgue headquarters after the tsunami struck in 04. i still fear the sea in these parts a little though i also have beautiful remembrances of the tranquil thai island seas from romantic times in ko chang in '02...wistful rememberings of the sweet & wild times that lovers share. ...the things that enchant, fascinate or make me smile... tu's lovely guesthouse filled to the brim with nomadic, rainbow family, planet-wide musicians from different corners of the globe. enough people but not too much for where i am feeling i am at...such an oasis to return to my cosy upstairs teak room at the end of a day weaving and roaming through the chaos of the markets or streets...the loft where i do my morning yoga practice & the elegant black cat that keeps watch by night with the lady moon on the tin roof. handwashing like a woman of the tribes, the comfort of the heat and the mercy of the sun that has not shone too hotly upon me thus far in the city...michelle, a messenger from seattle, accomplished at her market business and design craft who alerts me to the best places to manufacture and inspires me to take to drawing my own designs & cuts! it seems india shall draw me sooner than i had thought possible....for rajastan & nourishing days of yoga & indian musical theory, i can't wait! a strange longing for home and missing companionship though i am blessed by brief and special meetings with my brother and his girlfriend for dinners in bangkok and my auntie, uncles and cousins on a journey to the ancient temple ruins of ayutuyah...my auntie who reminds me of my mother...i am fortunate to enjoy 2 aunties who have spent time with me since i was a child of 3 and look upon me like a daughter. taking the boat, train and buses around the city, succesful navigation is always satisfying. new and exciting wholesale finds, broadening my contacts so that i can pick up the phone and receieve a shipment as supply & demand directs. though i wonder if i am channeling my energy in the best direction...i am at the stage now where i feel i need to get serious and smart about career direction...and yet there are so many things i would like to do~ training as a therapist in transpersonal counselling and applying dance/art/music therapy would be a healthy and good road for me, teaching i could be qualified to do in a year of post-graduate study and is a good career path for motherhood and worldwide settlement, no matter where one finds themselves planted. singing and the arts is my soul and calls me home pure and true, it is still one of my deepest dreams. running a small business is teaching me well, it would be great to be entreprenearial and manage my own business whatever my path....these big questions always seem to arise and tinker at my thoughts when i am on the road with some space to ponder & consider. ...this trip is as much work as it is rest and play...i even have stiches from a removed wisdom tooth dentist mission that will pull me back from wanderings to the thai rianbow sooner than i would like. i seem to be seeking lots of quiet time on this occasion, a little lonely for love and company but greatly needing to retract a little and be at one with myself. this can be easier when one primarily focuses upon travelling with oneself as i am doing at this time. ...an interlude over the phone with my brother just then! ...relationship advice from me as i have travelled similar roads to those he is walking on this journey in close quarters with his love...can be intense travelling together when in relationship. ...beautiful californian sammy and another funky matey who connects me back with threads to zoe & celena of sebastapool CA! i do think back to the america's often, i felt very comfortable and inspired there!~ african culture inspires and calls to me still, the lands of europe, india, america and japan seem to most draw me as i look to future travels. and yet, i have realised that to stay put on holidays and take stock and rest is something i have not done since i was at high school...i need these interludes to re-charge, rest & ready for the new semester. instead i forever seem to be trekking off somewhere and having adventures which are more well like adventures rather than restful holidays!

hmmm...unfamiliar and gorgeous new bird trills, even birds of the same species as in australia seem to sing to a slightly different tune here! the political landscape here...a bomb discovered underneath my brother's hotel on khaosan NYE..planted by internal thai nationalists who are in disagreement with the military coup staged late 06 to uproot the thai PM. primeminister thaksin had an inappropriate conflict of interests in private business enterprises throughout his governance. when i was in thailand at this time last year around 50,000 civilans led by the thai student movement (one of the most strident in the world) were gathering every sunday for months in the CBD to call for thaksin's resignation. a miliatry coup was later led this year to force his resignation. in response to this eight or so bombs explode around the city on NYE just before i arrive to protest against the temporary military rule here. the thai's internally within political and intellectual ranks and amongst the masses have called for this for many years so it seems to be the best road for the people. in the face of this structural period of unrest,. the thai;s have turned to their king who is due to turn 80 this year. in honour of this and as a tribute to this especially loved king and queen, a sea of yellow t-shirts bought and worn by the public line the streets each day, especially monday's!! as this is the specially allocated wear-a-yellow-t-shirt day! it is to the king's credit that he has inspired such devotion as a figurehead for without true goodness and merit he could not hope to inspire such belief amongst the people. this well deserved admiration is due to the royal couple's commitment to the poor and many projects geared towards strengthening communities and alleviating poverty. king rama VI is the other most beloved king in thai history that i can recall. also worth noting is that thailand is the only region in this zone of the world that has not encountered colonisation/conflict or upheaval of a significant kind in previous centuries. myanmar (burma) has been under oppresive military dictatorship for many years, china was cleansed by mao's cultural revolution & endured ghengis khan and other extreme circumstances, the vietnam war ravaged not only vietnam but also kampuchea (cambodia, also endured pol pot's regime), & laos which still stand as two of the most heavily bombed regions in the world. india was colonised by the british, vietnam by the french. due to the strength of the thai monarchy which has stood throughout time as a benevolent dictatorship before governance was established, thailand remained untouched whilst conflict developed and played itself out in neighbouring regions. with the track record of the region it is quite amazing that thailand has remained untroubled and free of major conflict or colonisation. golden, grand palaces stand as testimony to the rich cultural heritage of siam as does the predominance of the buddhist religion in these parts....thailand is a proud land with major overseas investors and a city that has the kitsch and sophistication of a burgeoning tokyo. many landmarks in bkk have been donated or built by different nations of the world as a gesture of goodwill. ...an argentinian flute player who tells me to add a D# in a timely place in a song i am working on! a spanish sound engineer who has worked with james brown, a chilean songwriter and italian filomina, houston dan studying an indian dialect in india on scholarship...the inhabitants of tu's magikal home! ...the food here is a treat for taste~ sticky rice and mango, rose apples, laksa, infusions of chinese cuisine, stirfry's, flavours of tamarind, lime, chilli~ sweet and sour combinations that wake up the senses & make them sing with pleasure!...reckless rides in tuk-tuks & buses along winding roads, taxi's to and from markets~ travelling in comfort & massage are affordable luxuries here... lastly, i reach the south today, reminded that the thailand that i most love is in the smiles of friendly faces, the generosity of the thai spirit and the lush jungles and rainforests, hills and seas. i am to meet with the rainbow tribe on the morrow and hopefully greet some girlfriends and connections from back home if they are still there and if not, i am destined to spend time with new and beautiful international folk! ..so i pull away from this reflective and special place of writing and looking back upon my travels thus far to wash away the day and bring fresh water to cool skin, to curl up with a vivid book, 'the red tent' that has me stepping back in time to the untold jewish women's tale of jacob and his 4 wives as told by dinah (the tale is from the book of genesis). immersed in another world and thinking of the ways of the old tribes, a life it would seem that is also in my own roots, in the history of these lands i walk this month, in the tribes of thailand and china & in the distant continent of europe in old england, yorkshire and australasia~ a landscape i recognise as being very dear to my heart.

sawasdee ka, my palms in the lotus position at the heart in greeting & farewell...

cha cha~ takin' things slowly & learning to love myself,

malissa (as my name is pronounced in thai) xxxx oooo xo xxxxx oo

2007-02-04T20:43:00.000-08:00

artistry.

'james in blue'

of my brother in blue tones -
of the sky, sun & the sea.

2004.

freedom splash.
2001.

**************************************
discoveries in paint, watercolour, ink & pen.
reflections of internal worlds - of that which emerges
when we are free to speak without words and instead
with the wisdom of the soul that may be heard
through many more mediums than talk alone.

is this not why we reach for
paintbrush, drawing, graphic design,
song, poem, prose, photography?
to put form to that which we need not
be left to say with words alone.
to find a pure avenue through which
we may express our innermost beauty-
that which resonates in our heartspace,
our space of truth.

when we speak with words...
so much may be said.
when we speak without words...
we receive & hear one another
in entirely new ways.

3.2.07

'angel hugh'
ode to a lover.
2004.

stream of consciousness meanderings
with a pen.
2005.

art therapy etchings~

unveiling the psyche, connections with the innerworld that may not always be consciously available to us to unravel. i don't usually realise that i have tapped into something significant until after a drawing is completed without thought...upon reflection and with analysis i see that the sub-conscious has risen to the surface so that i may elucidate what is hidden there.

*images with bigger view & photographs at:
http://my.imageshack.us/v_images.php

*photography uploaded @ http://www.flickr.com/photos/11761114@N00/

2006-11-27T03:47:00.000-08:00

*excerpts from travels to america/europe/asia. 2006/07.

march 2. 2006.
munchen, germany.

...a beautific city, i like the feel, i feel completley and utterly romanticised by this fleeting encounter with europe. the history and sheer years that pre-date these cobblestoned streets causes a humble wonder to permeate thes inquisitive wanderings of mine! pleasant times, amazement, time moves swiftly, i feel the call of university and pressing commitments in melbourne...i would like nothing more than to explore europe further and yet i feel that i shall return soon. as much as i am enchanted and impressed by the heritage and grandeur of these parts, i recall the comfort and ease of the australian way of life and i do not know that i would feel at ease in such serious environs for life. (this is the way germany feels - sometimes friendly, sometimes abrupt and haughty, i can feel the faint hint of cold from the holocaust and the cold weather - i still that ppl in warmer parts often have warmer disposition.

...i scan the lonely planet guide to western europe and remind myself that this travel reference makes travel 100% more convenient. i marvel at the sense of security that one can gain from a mere book. one of the first things i notice is that the germans smoke like chimney's - far more than what i noticed in america. i remember a postcard from my friend annie who lived with her girlfriend in a little town called bielefeld and took contemporary dance classes in berlin. i recall my high school friend kira and her german exchange student friend who i went to visit in a hospital in melbourne as she was dying from a severe brain injury brought on by a car crash. i remember joerg in berlin and caroline in holland and feel wistful for old england. some stones are best left unturned...until next time. ...outside my train window the sun rises over a beautiful morning in deutchland. gingerbread houses speckled with snow set at the edge of beautiful forest canopies of fir...frozen lakes [i recall that when i was in grade 2 some girls devised a lunchtime game based on 'sheera'! i was always chuffed that i did not seem to get an important role - what i did get was a permanent spot as the warrior woman who had the ability to 'freeze' people!!] ...pastures coated in pure white snow, melted snow water, creek and brook gurggling sweetly through the grass, spirit guide ravens are with me still, re-assuring me on my way - their nests balanced in the bough's of deciduous trees, wintery sparse spindles of twig of beech, oak, maple, birch and firsche...colonies of like minded wood. foogy mist that curls languidly and settles comfortably above the earth's damp, grassy floor. hedges and groves that hide deer and owl, rabbit and hare, fox and pig, geese and stork, duck diving tails up in icy ponds, woodpiles and chimneys, pot belly furnaces, homely curtains and hot dinners inside country-side dwelling cottages within villages....german feed of sausage and potatoe, hoftbrahaus beer hall, brewery and oktoberfest. churches, upon churches - church to our lady, st peter's, heilig geist, land of ja/nien, guntagen and danke...cyclamen and eidleweis, fast cars and autobarn, handblown glass and dutch-like dress, deutchland weiss and schneider, truedinger and mueller...brechtian plays, wagner, rachmaninov & mozart, scarlett johansen, hitler and the nazi's. the glockenspeil in the town square and the quaint precisely ordered fruit and vege market...the bavarian monarchy and elaborate, enchantress castles - testaments to the shy fairy-tale monarchy of ludwig II. the extravagent and elaborate royal residence of the house of wittelsbach - a unique testimony to the rennaisance, baroque, rococo and neo-classical times...the berlin wall, hamburg, munchen and frankfurt. strong, direct woman...german pride and austerity, the residue of the holocaust and the quiet and serious sincerity of the germans. i feel a deep sense of history and i am humbled. i have had my global awareness opened to the america's and europe - corners of the world that i could only conjur in my imagination in the past...broadening my perception of the culture and people in some prominent regions of the world which has of course precipitated much contemplation.

march 3. 2006.
roma, italy.

smitten with italy. italia beautific ladies and fellas with big eyes, full lips, and meditteranean colouring. indlugent wine and food, espresso and gelati, pasta and pizza. high fashion - women in boots! fresco paintings and marble sculpture, roman statues, artifacts that document the rise and fall of a conquestradorial (i don't think this is a word!) civilisation. magnificent (and prolific) churches. julius ceaser's reign, relationship with cleopatra and assasination, his adopted son octavious' defeat of antony and cleopatra leading to the establishment of the roman empire and his adopted title, augutus caesar. cleopatra's suicide, napolan's invasion. venice wrested from austria, benito mussolini's fascist party allied with hitler in WWI. artistic geniuses - da vinci, botticelli, michaelangelo, donatello, raphael...a banquet for theaart lovers eye and lovers of art history . michaelangelo's dynamic and temperamental character - a workaholic who would sleep in his boots for 3 months at a time, ornate touches of the baroque period, walking through statue halls feeling as though one is walking through the streets of ancient rome. dante's divina commediz (divine comedy), machievellis 'the prince'...vivaldi, puccini, pavarotti, bocelli...vatican city, the sistine chapel and st peter's basilica, the window that the pope greets and blesses people from every sunday at midday, the window that mussolini used to address the people from, ghetto's where the jews were herded away to auswitch, miles of underground cattacombe's (tunnels) where the catholics used to meet under the rule of the pagen romans. roma; venice (sinking an inch each year): florence: tuscany: naples: the vatican (an independent state); aeolian islands: milan: bolgna: genoa: verona; bilbao; siena; gallipoli; pompei; sicily...the sicilain mafia...the mafiosa's last days of power. italian passion! fiery and lovestruck - oozing charm, wearing their hearts on their sleeves, siestat-ing away the workday and feasting on sinfully good food and wine. revered nonnes, bambino's, bonjuerno & ciao, bella & bellisimo, mi scusi & grazzi. soccer stadium's and gladitatorial fight - the ancient ruins of the colloseum and the roman forum. piazza's (like a town square/meeting place), ancient ruins where senates and governments used to rule. giant pillars and finely designed architectural brilliance - lots of it! the things that leaders do to set their name in stone. the she wolf that weaned brothers romulus and remus who conceptulised and built the beginnings of rome, being in temples that pre-dated christ. delfino (dolphins), goddessed divinita, claudia, selene, julia, athena, swans of peace, the lion goddess sekhemet. walking until i could walk no more, an intimate hostel and a room with a slovenian high school student, a polish street performer and some lovely japanese travellers. a korean opera singer and hostel oqner who guides me from the train station to the hostel, an italian tour guide who guides me through st peter's basilica and piazza navona and venizia, the trevi fountain where i throws some coins into the beautiful fountain and make a wish, the elderly italian man who sees me there and walks me around rome. a young brazilian university student whom i share a say in the roman countryside with and share lunch with on the day of carnivale in the trestavere area - the streets of which are endearingly hidden and lovely - bravo for the alleyways of melbourne's inner city emmulate this style quite well. i finally get through to talk to my parents and am so happy tp hear mum's voice. the only complaint i have is that i meet lovely men whose company i enjoy and yet i inevitably realise sooner or later that they would like to sleep with me which tarnishes the connection that has been made (this happens time and time again - i am remembering apostoles - the greek business man who i had dinner with in munich.) despite this minor greivance, i am pleased to say that i saw roma in the rain and in the sun and she certainly had an unforgettable air about her.

march 1. 2006.
bangkok, thailand.

they tell me that when yai's bones were left after the fire, they were not the usual white but pale pink and blue...auntie dreams of her days before i arrive and i feel as though she has visited. i am told she died peacefully on may the 13th...a buddhist smile of serenity gracing her face that until the end did not reveal her pain. she passed on flanked by three of her children - her hand held by her most devoted daughter. i wish i had known so i could send her peaceful prayers on the back of the wind. they let her bones float out to see on the gulf of thailand...this is where i would like my bones to end up too..somewhere out in the big, vast sea that is. ...i have been on one big shopping marathon with my ever patient aunt who by the end of this week is going to want to club me over the head for having to be my guide through the crazy streets of bkk. after 3 full days seeing as much of roma's ancient ruins as i could (hopefully i will have time soon to collate the notes i made in europe) i am back in the intensely hot land of siam - my 6th time here and i am happier for it - i instantly relax into the heat, the gentleness of the tone of the people and the open arms of old connections and family. thai hospitality - there is nothing quite like it. or perhaps it is more that my auntie (my mum's youngest and favourite sister) does everything humanely possible to cater to my every need - i think she has a complex - she is a little too insistent on making everything perfect to the point where her own peace of mind and health is heavily taxed with the weight she tries to carry. there is nothing quite like the aroma's and sights and sheer chaos of the streets. dinner tonight with ling - so nice to see her. i will see two thai girls tommorow night and for now - i am keeping my eyes peeled for the best buys and developing some weight lifting prowess with all the bags i've been carrying! enraptured by thailand - i love this place. marissa (as it is said with the thai accent). mela means apple in italian!

feb 17. 2006

boston. USA.

...a greyhound bus that wound it's way northward, a night in a sweet cottage by the fire with learned elders in rockport, sadness at the way joe has aged so quickly...not fading joe, just ageing graciously...a day in boston walking the finnancial district, the boston fine arts museum, a boutique with dainty sweaters and a motherly eastern european woman, yoga classes at jivamukti with intuitive women in pink, a kind african man that cares for the hispanic/latino kids here at the jazz hostel, the broadway cast of 'rent' reminding me of past days and strutting their stuff so well, harvard university, university police! the new york university library, washington square, the empire state building, ground zero...the muslim taxi driver who says to me, i left NY and went to pakistan for 6 months after 911...learning that all faith's are beautiful in some way and humbling myself to learn about allah's faith...skysrapers and the fashion district on 5th street, central park sprinkled in the prettiest snow...

february 6. 2006.
NYC. USA.

NY is fabulously deliciously eccentric and full and wild! Yesterday was spent catching up on journalling before watching the Superbowl final. Ian and I drive through a rich area of Tucson, silenced by the pink sunset colouring the hills so beauti-fully. I attend a Spearhead show - a film showing in Tucson. The Q&A session is again informative and well, it is always lovely to hear Michael speak, particulary when he does so in a lecture style format. The acoustic set is also inspiring and I meet Julie - a lovely woman who is studying at a Buddhist University in Tucson. Versace and her and I hang out as I have a mere few hours to meander before my bus to PHX airport departs. I have sacrificed a night of sleep in order to attend this gig! ...and it is of course, more than worth my while... Versace and I share some drinks and chat about music - he has some good advice for me. I then spend the rest of the night and day half in comatose - sleeping in the bus and then the airport lounge and also the airplane after i board my 7 am flight to NY via chicago. i am in a daze most of the day but am miraculoulsy feeling fairly ok by the time i arrive in NY to the sight of a golden sun ball setting over the expanse of the city. I get a ride with a Haitian cabbie who thinks it halarious that I would like to exchange details. He lives in the Bronx and I would like to catch up with him there if I can fit it in. I arrive at my friend Michael's apartment which is swish and 5 mins walk from Grand Central Station. I shower and when he gets home we head off for dinner at a Japanese restaraunt in the East Village. Michael and I have been vaguley keeping touch for years but I have not seen him since Hughie and I attended a house warming do a few years ago. Michael has some great advice for me re: various topics from where to best buy a laptop, how i should organise the time I have left in Europe etc. We catch up on how the crew in Melbourne are and I am pleased that life is taking some good turns for him - he has reached the pinnacle of geek computer programming jobs with Google! Whilst he cannot disclose the details of what he is working on, he says that the work is highly challenging and stimulating. So we have a fun time at a French inspired jazz club where a Sicilian/Eastern European guy in braces and 1930's attire alternates b/w singing in a smooth Chet Baker tone and playing the horn. The piano is ancient and sounds like it is from a wild west saloon and the light is soft and the mood, laidback and wonderful. This is my introduction to NY and i am charmed. We drink red wine and wander through the streets to another bar, as I marvel at how populated NY seems - the energy, the traffic, the high density shops layered upon shops is distinctly NY and i love it! We return to the apartment and I make plans for the morrow. Sleep tight, may sweet angels take you to your rest, Mel xo

january 5. 2006.
maui, hawaii. USA.

looking forward to checking out a yoga class tonight, slept the night in haiku after singing lush kirtans last night. there is some fabulous crew here in maui and whilst the weather is sunnier down in lahaina where i am, the happenin' crew seem to be on the north shore . much more writing to catch up on but alas i am heading into paia now to visit a goddess cellist sister who is working at maui enchantress. briefly, i was blessed to stay a couple of nights at an elder's beautiful home with karnamrita dasi and a learned charcters - a guy who has spent the last year cheffing for an elder. i had my full astrological chart read this morning which has revealed some really interesting info for me to work with. slept well which always sends me off on a good footing and the sun is beginning to shine it's beautiful face after the rains of the night and the morn. c'mon sun! i saw half a rainbow through the mist of light rain yesterday in lahaina - the friends i am staying with live in the grounds of the lahaina jodo mission - a japanese buddhist temple that backs onto a lovely beach looking out to molokai with the calmest waters. i wonder if the other half of the rainbow was hangin' out on the north shore?! and yet....if i have learnt anything it is that the fullness of rainbow's shine brightest when the connections of our collective colours are shining their truth unbound and with clarity and full power love!!

2006-09-28T04:38:00.000-07:00

Rainbow Nation

Rainbow nation
Purging light
God’s Creation
Faeries Delight
The sacred circle
Allows all in
Hazy purple pierces skin

Moonbeam Woman
Solar Man
Fleeting Life
Universal Clan

Pay homage to the spirit
Pay homage to the self
Give thanks to all others
Give thanks for earthly wealth

Chorus:

Who am I
Who are we
Can anybody see what I see
Rainbow free
Can anybody see what I see
Rain on me

We need a new way of seeing
A new way of believing
We all have been waiting
This is why we’ve been praying
No more overcrowding
No more overpowering
Let go of the material
Re-create the spiritual

Give birth to children
Say a prayer for the millennium
God bless the dying
Blow a kiss to the living

Stardust baby
Touches me
Heals the wayward
purely.

Chorus.

2003.

One love One earth.

The face of the moon,
Invigorating, illuminating
Moonshine, rejuvenating
Starburst soulshine
Moonbeam, suntime
Polarity oh the clarity
Nourishing my fantasies
Ethereal otherworlds, mermaid faery girls
Seeking, searching, watching, observing
Exerting will, open to feel

Migrating energy fields
Filling space with spirit feel
Rock and tree vibrating aura
Flower, river, flora, fauna
Gleefully flitting children of the bush
Meaningfully watching river woman hush

Bridging ying and yang
Hunter, gatherer woman and man
Skyward stretch, heart soul fetch
Drawing down the moon
Voices of old and young in tune

Chorus: One love one earth
Shine your light upon the earth
One love one heart
Lift your spirit from the dark

Bridge: Let go of fear and welcome faith
It is a journey, not a race
So let your smile light up your face
Let your light heal the human race

Sinking roots into soft clay earth
Stardust nomads full of worth
Harmony from earth to sky
Mother earth faeries flying high
Chimes and gongs musicians toll
Bagpipes windrush make us whole
Stomping ground, bada dwe hey ho
Didge papa beats found, swing your mama to and fro
Dance with your fingers and dance with your toes
And sing hey bada didi dwe hey ho
And sing hey bada didi dwe hey ho

Come forth children who knows who you’ll meet
Let the spirit take you feel the beat
Harmony loving, freedom coming
Peace on earth and understanding
Come forth children surrender to the flow
For you’ll never, never know,
No, you’ll never, never know
if you never go if you never take it slow,
If you never go….

Chorus.
Bridge.

Exodus 2003.

it is time, ascend.

music move me, i can let go
speak to me beyond the ego
step with me from the shadows of the grave,
serenity settling like a pretty shade of chinese jade

the tabloid tv tells me to let go of the politik please
to be passive just like a good girl should be
i try, warrior, I can be strong, I can be brave
i am still learning to not be scared to leave the cave,

too many of us are our own slave
prisoner of our own fear, a self made cage
no more slave

chorus.

time to wing a flight on angel’s wings,
something inside me whispers, it is time, ascend,
do you dare live, can you be brave,
don’t look back and don’t look down,
just trust your heart to guide you until your truth is found
is found, is found.
__________________________________

it is night, I am awake, trying to find tranquillity
overwhelmed by my vulnerability
I see colours, indigo, green
a whitewash portal, a pathway beam

calling for the rains to make this land fertile again,
let it rain, let it rain, let it rain.
Earth Mother, this is a need, different from a want
be careful what you wish for, what you for you got
yes, what you wish for you got

chorus.

april 2005.

Meant to be.

It’s a bit like this
We could play like that
But I tell myself
We can't do that
I would like to touch
You could have it then
But it looks to me
Like one big pretend
Please tell me, when will it end

I saw you standing there
With somebody else
Could not help but stare
So did you yourself
Don’t look at me that way
Then just walk away
Expect me to stay

Chorus.

The alchemy of love
An antidote to fear
Love flies away like a bird
Leaves me standing here
But I am not broken
Not even in my darkest hour
Everything changes out here
Sweet turns sour
Sweet turns sour

I step aside
This is not our time
Intergalactic shaman you read my mind
Sing your love, be peace, be kind
Be free, just be, just be, mukti,
Shine, shine, shine, shine.

Chorus:

How am I meant to be
What do you want from me
What am I to you
What do you want me to do
But love you But love you

Bridge:

Like a crystal on a string
A babe’ wanders in the woods, a glitterin’
A smile, a dance, a fall
A searchin’ hand on your fragile wall, no more.

I give it up, I let it go
I givew you up so that I can flow
No more, no more.

April, 2006.

yoga blessing
may 2006.

light living presence
invitations to glowing embers
releasing gifts
starlight stillness
eastern pilgrim glide
dancing for life
sky bells and blessings
full of wispy meanderings
and soft palms

Awakening.

North Bondi Beach glitters.
The day is clear, golden wintery
Cheeks glow, soul relaxes into
Nurturing solar energy & sea air.
Sun dips into the hills &
Slowly bides the people of Bondi goodnight.
Whitewash, waves crash, pure, precise power,
Nature’s unbridled ebb & flow.
Surfers splash & play
Gulls swoop & angle wings,
Carried by the wind’s will.
Babies are wheeled in prams,
Safeguarded by parents who have given bloom.
A calf stretch, a joggers shoe impacts the pavement,
A walking stick, a bounding pup,
The grind of a skater’s wheels,
The sweeping mane of a woman's tresses,
Mohawk man bends,
Water quenches thirst,
A gliding bicycle, elegant coats,
The mesmerising aquamarine hues of the deep blue sea.
Green tea leaves seep & infuse,
Rising to the surface,
Gently stilling thought, instilling peaceful flow.

Spirit blends, aura lifts from 7 sacred chakra’s.
From the red Earth base, Kundalini coiled,
Life-force awaiting release.
To the amber Moon womb of sanctuary & nourishment.
To the bright yellow solar plexus,
The centre of the Sun.
To the green heart, Venus melding
rose pink unconditional love & compassion.
To the blue throat,
Neptune calling in communication.
To the Indigo third eye,
Jupiter. Spirit & soul.
Mind awakened with insight & clarity.
To the purple crown,
White soul light of grace & enlightenment
Uranus. Cosmic consciousness alive.

The Mysteries of Creation
The Secrets of the Universe
Kundalini Rising.

A tender serenity embraces the cosmic body
Present to our soul in the presence of the Now
Mental clarity shines through the eyes,
The self has surrendered and is set free.
Whilst this bliss may only last for a moment at first,
That moment lights the flame of freedom that resides within.

This moment gently awakens us to
The calling to reach our Highest Potential,
The Lucidity of Higher Truth,
The Wisdom of Peace,
The Freedom of Love,
The Pure Joy of Being
Alive, Here & Now.

Sydney.
July, 2006.

“Like the seeming weightlessness of snowflakes that fall, every little thought carries with miraculous power. A collection of snowflakes can create an avalanche. A collection of thoughts can create a world war or one of peace. The collection starts Now.”

Isira Sananda.

Soul brother

2004.

The summer’s passed one by one,
Do you remember, we had so much fun.
You told me all water flows back to the sea,
Remember I told you, I didn’t want that to include me.
I didn’t want that to include me.

Angel dust, I won’t forget your angel hands
But there’s only so much distance that I can stand
I never knew it so hard to say goodbye,
My heart plays a chord so sad, my tears run dry.

Chorus:

Soul brother, oh my soul brother,
You walked the Earth with me for a time, & I’m so grateful.
But baby it is time to let go now, so go on now - go now,
My intuition’s telling me were gonna be just fine.
So goodbye love, I still love you,
But the seasons are changing, I feel it in my bones,
So goodbye love, I will always love you,
But the tail wind blows, I’m going with the flow.
_________________________________

One step forward and two steps back,
Oh here we are, walkin’ this road of romance
Honey hello welcoming’s, oh you sting with your bittersweet farewells
Lemon on my paper cuts, sad stories sell
And so I kiss & tell, k-k-k-kiss & tell.

Super dooper baby
super lover, uh-huh, super papa, I couldn’t resist it.
Your sky blue eyes, your lips on mine,
I can’t help myself, it was bliss, it was bliss & I miss it.

Chorus

My love, you are a lighthouse, you burn so bright,
This ending is part of the cycle, this death we do not fight.
Somewhere, out there, you breathe in the virtues of this Earth,
I am with you in spirit, whenever you need to re-birth.
Whatever you need, whenever you need to rebirth.

Thank-you for your belief in me as I believe in you,
oh my sweet lover, you are beautiful, stay true.
Believe in your power to open those doors,
Have faith in the Great Spirit, it will end all your wars.

Still I can’t believe just how much you have given me,
Do it baby, do it now, do what you gotta do, be what you gotta be,
And so it is, and so it was, you were joy, you were laughter.
A part of you stays with me deep into the ever, ever after.
*And perhaps one day my friend,
Our love will bring us together again.

Chorus.

Gaia.

2006.

Within the heart of the jungle, the etha’s breath ripples
Deep & full in synchronistic harmony…

Across the vast landscape spill of Gaia
Ripe Earthly Trees Skyward bound, reach High, Higher Still
Rivers Snake Silently, Rushing Wild Ocean Shores Lap
Free as a Bird in Paradise, a bird reborn.

Beneath the gentle gaze of Father Sky,
Perusing view of Evergreen, Fanfare Palms,
Valley’s, Desert, Snow, Endless Plains
Miracle Flowering, Eucalyptus, Mountain Ash,
Dainty, tiny petals, veins of life-force leaves
Trilling in the breeze, dancing lightly to the ground.

I bow to the spirit in you
To thee I give my heart & surrender
Because of you I love.
You are Light.
You give Life.

Rainforest scent, damp, wet, rain, opening reservoirs,
Thunder, storm passes under.
Delicate scent of jasmine, rose, cedar,
Oh Tree, Tenderly embracing you
Rising, Falling, Moving with the Air
By Lunar light, Sol Shine, Starry Bright Night
And Day, all day, everyday
I need to feel one-ness with you
The Four Directions, Magically Elemental
So profound, Peace, Bless, Bliss
Now that I have found you
I am intoxicated & filled by
Immeasurable sustenance
Divinity, Pleasure,
My heart is full
Knowing You.

Garden of Eve
Your apple is evermore sweet
Grow, Unbound, Delightful,
Please Withstand, Understand
Our Human Folly
In the presence of your Grace & Wisdom
Gaia, We are Grateful for your Gifts of Love,
Your fruits, your Life-giving,
Nourishment & Eternal flame.
Embers Ignite the Fire in your belly, your womb
Radiating, Abundant Earth, hearing us, listening for our tune.

I bow to the spirit in you
To thee I give my heart & surrender
Because of you I love.
You are Light.
You give Life.

The colour of…

Red were her lips in the moonlight
Milk was the colour of her skin
Pure was the water that he bathed her with
Blue was the skirt she danced in

Oranges she peeled at tea-time
Green as the hills were her eyes
Like a song was her laughter as she ran on the land

Her smile was like the sunrise.

Chorus.

She was like a rainbow rising
Full of glitterin’ hues
She sang with the birds
& she danced with the leaves
She walked like an angel
& she moved with the trees.

Pink was her flesh on the inside
A bit of mauve, crimson & cream
Ochre was the clay that she painted with
Silver threads she would weave in her dreams

Black was her hair at midnight
She sailed away in the dark
An owl hooted slow
He’d never felt so low
The sea was still as they did part

September 2006.

There is existence…

Left, right, left, he left his lover in New Orleans
The rivers were floodin’ & so he had to leave
& so he left the state of the Rising Sun
while America failed it’s coloured ones
The flags flew low & the people starved
The Governor he was pleadin’ loud
The statesmen they were coverin’ up
All the National Guards were in Iraq

There is existence without resistance
There is reception without deception
Allow divine in while your smilin’
Keep on remindin’ to let the light in
Don’t forget to write you very own Haiku
Make up a Mantra, anyway you’d like to
I know you can, you know you can
Say you can, yes, say you can.

& so he hitched a ride all the way to Californi-ae
Made a house out of a box, right by the Bay
Told me he was lookin’ to de-program
‘Don’t worry, be happy baby’ was his new slogan
With all he knew, he felt that he couldn’t see
With all he had, he didn’t feel free
And he wanted so much to feel free, to feel free

These days I see him sittin’ in the State library
Teachin’ himself to read the stories he was read as a boy
See he believes that he ain’t too old to learn
& I believe, do you believe that his spirit could burn
down all the walls in the world built to divide
down all the walls we have built on the inside
down >>>

July 2006.

Cicada Man.

Where are you love?
Why didn’t you stay?
I knew you’d fly away cicada man,
Leaving the butterfly to find her way.
And so I metamorphosise,
Peeping out of my cocoon
And so I celebrate this life as I gravitate to the moon.

A hopeless romantic,
Meets warrior frontier man.
River woman hush am I,
In another life I was part of your clan.
And so the souls magnetise towards each other’s hearts,
Why they do not know,
Tho’ knowing nothing happens just by chance,
Knowing to go with the flow.

Father, brother, friend and lover,
A big man, a little boy in the jungle,
Totem of the turtle & the hawk,
A protected spirit boy buffered by the funnel.
Existential madness money hungry insatiable thirst,
Whisk me away to a land of rebirth,
Take me on a flying carpet, I will flee, I’ll be a refugee,
Take me to a higher place than earth.

Chorus:

Take me to a spirit garden I will dress in white,
With the winds of summertime we’ll dance with delight,
With the lilies of the earth & the baby birds of spring,
At our childhood playground party with all our kith and kin,
With the old man tree, the desert-flowers, the snails & the weeds,
With the eagle & the wise old owl & the crow whose wisdom feeds,
With the milky-way & the universe and the sun & moon on course,
With the birth of day, the fall of night, with the love of the life-force.

Bridge:

Where are you love? And will you stay?
Butterfly, flutterbye, I want to come and find you
Play hide and seek, let’s play.
So come out, come out
From wherever you are hiding
I will count to ten, then let’s play
Come out, 1,2, come out
3, skip 4 & 5 and find you
6, 7, *8, it’s not too late, let’s play.

Let’s create an alternate reality,
Let’s weave a magik web of life,
Let’s live the life of our fantasies,
Lets transcend the mental fight.
*Spirits of the new Renaissance,
Choosing Enlightenment and not fear,
Walking the unknown way bravely,
Finding the truth and seeking to be clear,
An opening for the visionaries,
The wizards & magicians of New Earth,
Spreading the words truthfully, encouraging the people to revolt and re-birth,
I a guru you a guru too, the guides are with us in this moment,
Teaching each other with the patience of mother,
The changes are flowing and we need to go with it,
& we need to go to it.7

Chorus. Bridge.

2003.

A dream that some of us have

Condolences can’t consol a mother’s sorrow
Her son a soldier here today and gone tomorrow
The darkest of the dark of human experience
I pray for an avoidance of the clearance
I’ve seen the gun games that the boys play in the schoolyard
When they are old their enemy’s bullets land them into the graveyard
I’ve seen the sacrificial lambs not ready for the terror
Like butterflies we flutter for a day and think that it’s forever

Chorus.

Hold a child’s hand and imagine just for one second
The power the people can have
People standing up against the corruption and the guns
People voicing, voicing their voices as one
Come together now and we’ll remember
That war takes lives and peace takes heart
What about peace was it just a dream
Just a dream that some of us had
No, no, no, give peace a chance
It’s still a dream that some of us have.

Cameras of surveillance, global watchdogs monitor
Every movement of you and I and you Mr Senator
Weapons of mass destruction, holding human life in contempt
I gotta ask Big Brother when will you ever be content
Rebel, someone’s gotta stand up for the higher good
you claiming it is you who are misunderstood
Protect your people first, think locally like a prophet would
Then spread your word from the locality to the global hood

Chorus.

They have engineered a clever clash of civilisations
Inflaming the opposition’s fundamentalism
Parliament of puppets lookin’ for mammon, monetary opportunity
Democracy is a joke, create civil mutiny within your community
Erasing human rights, it is a dangerous day
It is a Lion’s Den out there, the simple donkey brays
Come on my people, write a letter, protest, speak out and lobby
And let us not forget what bombs and bullets do to bodies

Chorus. Bridge.

2002.

Wild Minor Bird.

2002.

Wild minor bird on this overcast morn
I slept in again today and it seems I missed the dawn
But awoke yesterday to a sunkissed beach
Fell asleep the night before beneath the moonshine’s reach

Traffic noise of highway close
Horns tooting treadmill morning for most
The things we observe in this 21st century city
Bringin’ my children into this world and wanna keep it pretty

Chorus.

Biodiversity, different ways of being make the earths personality
In all its shades and hues, the earths simple sagacity
All kinds make life, all creatures great and small
With strong roots and rich soil, may the trees grow tall

Monkey call, kookaburra bird on carved totem pole
Just you wait till he lets loose his toll
Of loud clear laughter to break this day
To startle grey suits so heavy on their way
He with busy antz that are preparing for the rain
With nodding pigeons cooing their refrain
Ancient animal wisdom helping us to heal
Chillin’ the alienated, reminding us to keep it real

Chorus.

The simple wisdom in the ways of these ancient creatures
Stuck in the time warp of this gold coast city with all its features
Of dream world and movie world and light world and this and that
To the natural wonders of the old world I take off my hat
And courtesy to the old goanna in the pool
And the bright blue kingfisher thinking were the fool
To have crowded this coast with skyscrapers stretching tall and far
Breaking life of parrots and cocktail coloured butterflies with pollution and tar

A paradise compromised by bricks and roads and population boom
There may come a day when the palms and frangipani have no room
To stand tall and smell sweet by the banana and mango tree
To give us air to breath and beauty to see
All living things dependent upon each other
Losing species, language, culture, extinction is forever

Chorus

Wanderer.

i need to seek sojourning wanderer
listen to my heart and pulses to ponder
open spaces lure me
untamed, unruly I need to be free
is this the beginning of the end
my soul is my truest friend
my being is frayed fragmented and splayed
disconnected apprehended
feeling the wanderer in me
a child of the dust can only be free
sleeping on the belly of the earth
come on create, come on, come on, give birth
to a new constellation
fresh imagination
recreating the stars
minds eye can see far

ask the questions expect no answers
bring on the pain bring on the laughter
breathe it all in don’t be afraid
spirit cannot be tamed
cannot be tamed,
cannot be tamed.

2002.
NZ

Fool on the Hill.

How did I come to be the fool on the hill?
At the peril of my own mis-led, misguided use of will,
Reachin’ for it, deep down felt I didn’t deserve to receive
I am wiser for it, spider’s web, I weave, un-weave

Have not yet learnt the lesson,
It has caught me in its harlot snare three times,
DOwn at Ground level make a deal with the devil
Damn ya love affair, Mother Mary wails

Chorus.

Come here my dear, parapa-pum-pum
Bewitched by his charm, he had you won
Catch a ladybird, in the vines
Just don’t you ask ‘bout the sorrow in my eyes
Oh I feel unsteady,
I feel unsteady, I feel unsteady,
Ready settee, oh no, here we go again

I feel you slippin’ away from me,
Reality comes crashin’ in,
The shadow of your smile
Sonic rainbow of your style
You make me wanna sin

Harmonic hip-hop daddy, hip-hop away
I know what you’d like to do, if you could have your way
Ah don’t you tease me daddy
You’ve made your bed now you lie in it
I know you’d like to please me daddy
But we both know that it ain’t fit

Chorus.

Bridge.

I’d kinda like to knock on your door
Even when to do so has burnt me before
It was just like me to dive in head first
Love has blinded me before, you are not the first.

How did I come to be the fool on the hill?
At the peril of my own mis-led, misguided use of will,
Reachin’ for it, deep down felt I didn’t deserve to receive
I am wiser for it, spider’s web, I weave, un-weave.

October, 2005

I feel you.

I feel you
Your sun shine(s)
I feel you
In my mind

You take me there
To kingdom come
Take me there

The dawning of our love oh uh uh
The morning of our love oh uh uh

I feel you
Your love sings
I feel your joy
Joy you bring

Heaven waits
Golden gates
Take me too
Lead me through

You take me there
To kingdom come
Take me there

The dawning of our love oh uh uh
The morning of our love oh uh uh

I feel you
Your love sings
I feel your joy
Joy you bring.

2005

Love me on the side.

I didn’t know I broke your heart so many times,
You didn’t know that all I wanted was for you to be mine,
I didn’t know how to gives us a start,
I didn’t know the deepest feelings of my own heart.

Chorus:

They say you don’t know how deep
The well is until the water’s gone
I didn’t know how deep your love was
Till you’d sung your last song for me

Bridge:

We got other loves on our minds
You seem to want to love me on the side
So OK honey, just this once, have your way with me,
Cos you know you still make me smile.
_____________________________________

Childhood sweetheart I wanted you back but you had gone
You went away all those lost years, built yourself up strong
And isn’t it funny how that old flame just won’t die,
Old friends we call ourselves, but it’s for that long lost lover that, ooh I pine.

Chorus.

Bridge.

Yes now you’re back and you’re no stranger
We do it on the side, doin' it though we're shy,
We got a friendship so solid, on this ship of love we keep dry,
You used to make me laugh, used to make me sigh,
We’d be on the telephone all night,
You used to wait for that call all day,
I had forgotten till you reminded me last night.

Chorus.

Bridge.

Never met anyone as good at persuasion as you,
I come on over and you coax me to a corner & before I even knew
What you got on your mind, I am there with you
Getting down and dirty, yeah woo-hoo

It’s so easy, I hope you don’t think I’m easy
Smooth talkin’ boy you are
You see we’re living out
The one that got away when we were young,
I loved you so much when we were young.

Chorus.
Bridge.

For Leigh.
2005.

Orpheus & his Melody’s

You are a ship sailing away
I am like a mermaid begging you to stay
You are tribesman afro-blue,
I am melancholy mellow all over you.

I am mindless, dreamer girl
Sing for me and I will clap and twirl,
You are taboo, forbidden fruit, mystique, man-kind,
Used to so easily reeling in your find.

Chorus:

When you are out on the water,
When you are riding your wave,
If you want me there
then I am there with you,
Feeling your joy, feeling your pain
Just call my name, and I’ll be there,
I’ll be there, I’ll be there.
___________________________

Apollo, Dionysian, tug of war,
You are a chariot of fire, blazing in my core,
Lifting the sun up, wake my sleepy head,
Like Orpheus and his melody’s, magic lead me to the bed.

Though I must ask first, are you a noble sea-faring suitor,
If so, come serenade me, away from my lair,
God of prophecy, share with me your oracle,
Take me to Olympus, I’ll kiss you there.

Chorus.

With your lyre of seven strings, spill your songs into my soul,
Take my hand, (lead me there), it’s in the scripture’s, destiny foretold,
Feelin’ healer, lead me to the valley of your dreams,
Nestled in the earth’s fold, lay me down by the orange tree.

Fill me up, invoke in me ecstacy,
Trill ‘n buck, connecting to the energy,
God of light, can you feel the synergy,
God of cure, c’mon complete me.

Chorus

May 2005.

Mae Hoi.

Here we are you trapped in your body,
Me trapped in my mind.
Here you lie, hands clutched to your body,
What do you see in your mind’s eye?

Here I sit, all air and angels, watching butterflies,
Here, you die, wrapped in lemon sunshine,
while the moon she cries.

Chorus:

Mae Hoi, be safe, wherever you are,
Mae Hoi, walking to the stars,
Chan Ruck Kun Yai,
Chan Ruck Kun, Goodbye,
Ra Dree Sawat, Sawasdee,
Please Watch Over Me.

Here I stand, here, safe in the motherland,
Sleeping Yai, I am here for you,
Here you drowned,
With your lost foetus, by the riverside.
Here you were, trapped like Ophelia in her own skin,
Lost to your own kith and kin.

Chorus.

Here we are, you cannot see the sun and moon,
I will send them to you in your dreams,
In your dreams where flowers surely bloom.
Here you lie, your karma is good,
Do not be afraid to die.
Here you fly, above your own body,
Fly High.

Set yourself free, free to fly,
Spread your wings, bye and bye.
You are free, free to fly,
Spread your wings, fly bye.

Chorus.

For My Yai (GrandMother)
Who I journeyed to Farewell in December 2004.
She passed worlds 4 months after her 3 daughters
and I had gathered together by her side, in the home
where she birthed 5 children's birth,
in the humble town of Suwankalope, Thailand.

Fight to Keep the Faith.

I don’t believe
in living in a world of combat
And I believe this is my right
yeah i really do dig that.
The nightly news makes you wanna cry
As you sit there thinking why?
oh my, oh my

Every nation of the whole wide world
has its wide eyed children
You gotta love them, gotta feed them,
not kill them
Flesh vs. bullet proof vest
of the war-time chess piece, son of a gun
At the end of the day,
the winners have not really won.

Chorus.

Fight to keep the faith
in one united solidarity
Stand up and say to them
not in our names,
we stand for one humanity
Hold peace in your hearts,
hold peace in your minds
Be part of the collective consciousness
and you will find
That the government
might seem to have control
But the peaceful have true power
Fight to keep the faith,
now is the hour,
now is the hour.

Military pawns conspiring where to send
their next bomber to zoom
When the White House whistle blows,
they detonate yet another bomb on a family’s home
Refugees fleeing from the war
are locked up in detention
Set them free, set the riot in swing with
the emotion of your momentum

ASIO carries out secret raids,
sledge hammering P.C hard drives,
Ripping out the pages,
editing our history with more lies,
They might try to silence you
if you talk too accurate
bout the hypocrisy
In the land of the free, terra nullius,
freedom is a mockery.

Chorus.

(Spoken)

Rise up as one family,
cos what the world needs now
is love, sweet love,
that’s the biggest thing
that there’s just too little of .
The revolution comes
in many different forms
You can live it loud, speak it soft,
or just embody it without saying
Anything at all.
You are powerful
In your thought,
your words, your actions
So don’t hold back,
live your life with love
in all your interactions
We only live this life once,
so let’s find something meaningful to say
We are one family,
so for you, my family, I pray.

What is this new world order
you are giving us?
Killing our global village,
destroying it to dust
Too many years of sanctions,
Iraqi’s crying feed us
And until you get it right,
we be asking you
to lift your curse from upon us

Let me tell you what
the word is on the street
Everyday people
chanting to the growing beat
Let go of your fear,
wiser choices must be made
Your desire to dominate,
that’s how the terrorist was made

Chorus.

grace. to be grace-full is an act of peace, love and tranquility. grace does not judge. grace is gentle, calm, clear, soft and fluid. grace is beauty. grace permeates anger and dissolves melancholy. grace is pure surrender. grace is the stillness of zen...buddha's smile...the kind touch of krishna and the hand of god.

Nowra Dancer.

I remember you as the native Australian
landscape passes by
delicate white gums, mountain ash,
camouflaged sheep, striking spindles
of stripped, bare trees,
reflecting waterholes,
wattle, yellows, deep green, light green,
auburns - browns, red, ochre,
grey matte, opaque, mottled,
shades of planted earth.
introduced species, transplanted
and foreign to the natural habitat,
hijacking birth from the sacred womb.

You are tribal Nowra dancer,
Libran lifting me to ascension,
Young love surfer friend,
Puppy school love,
New Zealand Poet,
Pillar Valley, Northern Sunshine – most loved of totems,
Gentle African brother,
Dear jazz pianist,
Black fired old soul Treeman,
I trekked across the world to see.
Smiling Irish eyes cast upon me.

You are all of these things and more.

You are the men that have loved me,
Sometimes briefly, sometimes long.

Most of all, as I pass these homelands,
I think of you Now Dancer Friend,
Not knowing when & if we shall meet again
& knowing that you are not to be held on to,
that your darkness soothed me, a special gift,
an angelic passer by.
Though as I pass through the regions of your home,
I wish to detour to offer a gentle hi.

16.7.06
Nowra. New South Wales

where do i begin?

where do you end and where do i begin?
where are my gaps and where do you fill in?
your cavities, your crevices, i will find them in the midnight hour,
and like a surreptitious faery,
will mend and fill with womanly power,
with womanly power, with womanly power.

drunk with your presence i will meet your gaze,
then like swooping paper cranes,
we will fall into a dreamy haze,
and walk the soft grass that leads to lover’s paradise
with the pure blessings of buddha and krishna and christ
and allah too.

you will kiss me softly and in your arms i’ll drown,
in the bliss of symmetry your heart i will crown,
with an endless ring of golden light,
without the futile sting of lover’s bite,
with the scent of sage and jasmin and rose
without the thorns and nettles that puncture and enclose.

with a sense of the divine,
and some harmony,
a swirl of colour,
a splash of light
and a sprinkle of infinity.

august 2002.

smooth skin as dark as night, a loving touch that felt so light, i sway in the breeze, how i have fallen again, for a sweet and unlikely friend, who trembles softly in his frame, persuades me naughtily again and again, oh my, how could i have let myself fall like this again, for a fallen angel yet angel still, a barren soul and damaged will, fallen angel but angel still. ...a beautiful quality that makes me cry ...a vulnerability that opens me to heal ...a sadness that is crying for nurturing ...a badness that hides a loving heart ...softness that soothes and asks for surrender ...strength that gently chides and guides me ...a soul that wants to share ...a hand that grasps me ever so firmly yet gently by the nape of the neck like a mumma lioness with a wayward cub ...a grip that says, don't leave, please stay... ...wisdom of africa in his eyes ...in his mumma and papa's eyes too the planet blesses thee. keep safe love... he walks somewhere alone on this night and i think of him for he makes my soul move and shake and liquidate and solidify again and again. he is brother and guide, shadow and light, learner and teacher, fool and wise man, searching to be wiser still. he walks somewhere alone on this night and i think of him for i saw love in him and it made me cry. ...what more could i have unknowingly hoped for this christmas than for a special soul gift of spirit in a blue hoody to follow me down the mission street!!!

Oakland. California. 23.12.05

Letting go…

It is as though I am grieving again
& yet this time I hardly recognize why
for nothing gained was nothing lost
you were there & you were gone in the blink of an eye.

This small heartache tells me
I had thought I’d let go & yet I see
It is not fully so.

You were the apple of my eye
A tear for you, a tear I cry
A tissue, a tissue, I fall down, down, down
But I have learnt now how to pick
myself up from the ground.

Sept. 21, 2006

enamoured by your browness our difference your wisdom, effortless, dancer of the dreamtime, sleek, graceful prince. the heart cannot be rationalised with, she knows. son of a warrior of your people, you search for me through the day and night though i hide, not sure i want to be found ...you wait until after the deed to tell me, aboriginal papa of three your life in realtime is a world away from me.

the dreaming festival. june 9 - 12 2006

eco-paul

eco-paul touched me almost as though i had not been touched by such beauty of character before.

eco-paul bounded about the brush of crystal waters with the disabled gait of a brain damaged creature confined to the city, finally let loose in nature, enchanted and opened to express bountiful, joyful innocence, eco-paul at his best.

sunning ourselves, offering me the purest of friendship, chatter with no boundaries, picking lemons and morsels of local poppy seed cake and unprocessed cow's milk (illegal - the government likes to own everything)

an example to us all – eco-paul travellin' melbourne trams
tellin' us to take transport and not drive
spreading the word to keep the planet alive

eco-paul touched me almost as though i had not been touched by such beauty of character before.

crystal waters. june 2006.

not ready for me…

you tell me you’re not ready and i can see
but when you are darlin’, you can come to me.
i cannot wait for you, for you may never come ‘round
but know that i am here for you when i see you are down.
you have moved me such that i do not desire to walk away
you say you wish to lay close with cuddles to
my heart and do that you may.
…please earth angel, be careful with me,
you send forth messages with your eyes you think i cannot see,
you say so much with the stroke of your hand
but alas, you tell me you are an all or nothing kind of man.
the love of your life haunts you although she has long gone
…left you like a boat ravaged in a storm.
and so you cry as you are awakening,
awakening in so many new, brave ways
and i am here to see your blossoming days,
it hurts to remember how you have loved me
but how could i ever wish undone
your infusion of my heart with light, healing, love…unforgettable one.

for irish sean.
december 2006.

gift from canada.

you helped me feel beautiful, purposeful, special once more.
when i felt like i was on the rocks,
i called to you and others to east coast shores.
you looked to me as the goddess that i am.
you are a peaceful god of clarity, new to this land.
you offered me more than i felt i was worth.
protector of a lady travelling, bound for the north.
freedom at last, you met me as a i flowed,
nursed me through a sick day and night,
weren't afraid to show your woe.
gentle, loving kindness, pure eyes show you true,
i was so enchanted by your soul, your gentle woo.
an honesty, a trust, worthy of the highest praise,
grounded pilgrim, student of wisdom, guided on your way.
a clear path, a good path, drawn to the highest cause,
seeking, searching to understand buddhist, hindu laws.
yoga strength, determination in your stand,
humble firmness, understanding in your hand.
i feel you are a friend for life, your gracious words and
gestures touched me as a floated by,
your advice and affirmations settled a scared soul,
and helped her remember how to fly,
remembering my song when i had almost forgotten how to sing,
the time we spent,
i am remembering, remembering.

byron bay.
june 2006.

I slept so peaceful by your side,
Spooning cradle, intertwined,
Slowly coming to understand
what goes on in your mind.
Felt so good to be in your embrace,
Nestled in your arms,
your space of grace,
Quiet little kisses on the surface
Of your sweet, sweet skin,
Evermore, everpresent,
bodylength journeying.
Goodbye lives in the
dawning of the dawn,
Can I stall the countdown
toward the morn?
Tingles beneath my chestbones,
Crying, silent in the dark,
What do I do? What can I say?
Sometimes, I dunno where to start...
or how to help you see what's in my heart.
This ode to you perhaps
not meant for closure and
yet my petals draw shut as night falls,
by Monday morn, I have gone,
Love did you find the gifts
I left in your drawers?

Grand Canyon.
Jan 28, 2006.

3. Lady Canyon.

A River runs through her, blesses and caresses her A Raven flies in her - cawing and talking to her Elks wander by her, padding her. I make pilgrimage to her, I am with her, here for her, here with her, Curious to feel her, wanting to be near her. I am one with her, Bow to her, Try to hear her, Here with her. I am one with her, Here for her With elk and deer – Lady Canyon Feeling her. The inner gorge calling to me, call me, calling me, Step from the rim to feel -- move -- rhythming, timing. Colorado River inviting me, inviting me, Ride the rapids, perhaps one day, perhaps, perhaps not. For now I am happy watching a River run through her. Colour contrast; Sand and Rock Hundreds of Millions of years old, Snow, Wind and Rain - Never a better teacher than Mother Nature told. Water falls, water falls – cascades to Aina below, Arizona Sun warms my fear, clearing woe.

Grand Canyon. 2006.

For ‘Aina’ (Earth) - a young, excitable Puppy of Byron Bay. And Lady Canyon – he most breathtaking of Pilgrimage Sites. For all the Women of Byron Hinterland whom I have been Privileged and graced to meet over 9 years including KT, Annie, Hannah of pilgrimage 1999. The Woman of Wonder-full Threads, Eve and Crew of Mumma and the happiest of Brown Bubba’s Miss Lily, Muktian-like Middle Eastern Sister, Pixie land bass player, Indigi care Mum, Elder Crystal Aboriginal Mumma and her surrogate daughters, Woodford Women, Rainbow Gathering women, 3 Protectress Atlantians – Thank-you! Arev, Luce, Sydney Sis of Chelsea NSW, And her quiet friend, Surfer Sis, Atsu and Sister on English Pilgrimage, A mum in need of healing, A Danish lady of clear and loveable disposition Of beautiful face - Sadly deported for her blonde dreadlocks and her Care of the land and people Woodword Yoga Mum, Singing Mum of Jewels and Hats. Tamara exploring and learning, Princess Kazzie Bollywood recruitress of hip-hop talent and clear drive. Kala for bringing the energy to Melbourne and Carla Moo and Arlia Moo for current visit 2006 and Pocahontas - knowing that you were there even though we did not pass by eachother warmed my heart. To Yuwa and Regi of Sydney! Hope you guys journeyed there this year! To Amy - sister of a sister of many years prior and Emmie - this is Simba's name for Em - who I heard on the grapevine helped Michael find the Northern or another venue. To Mihi and Natalie who are there Now! and to Catherine and Tina of 2005 and Carla and Catherine of 2006 - I hope you are having beautiful times and was lovely seeing and chatting the other night. Especially to a Supa Feather Heather who Radio’s often! Especially to Harriet, Emma, Sarah, Nina, Natalie, Breigh, Kira and Maja. For introducing me to Belongil Beach and The most tender of gifts – Byron Bay’s Region during the summer of 1998. To JJ for sharing there And for pilgrimages of his own 3 years post my introduction.

Re-draft of Lady Canyon.

Originally I felt her as a Lady - as She and yet I prefer to address Thee as He. Embodiment of all Energies - Masculine and Feminine.

A River runs through him, blesses and caresses him A Raven flies in him, - cawing and talking to him Elks wander by him, in communion - padding him. I make pilgrimage to him, I am with him, here for him, Curious to feel him, wanting to be near him. I am one with him, bow to him, Try to hear him, here with him. With elk and deer – Canyon... Feeling him. The deeper gorge calls to me - calling me, Step from the edge to feel -- move -- rhythming -- timing. A world of unknown rock and river, tree and timber - wild and beguiling. A world in a timeless cavern, The world within him -- quietly thriving. Colorado River invites me -- inviting me, Ride the rapids, perhaps one day -- perhaps -- perhaps not. For now I am happy watching a River run through Him. Colour contrast - Sand and Rock Hundreds of Millions of years old - Snow, -- Wind -- Rain - Never a better teacher than Earth Father told. Water falls, water falls – cascades to Aina below, Arizona Sun warms my fear, clearing woe.

For and To -- The Canyon -- Breathtaking Pilgrimage Site -- Nature's Gift.

Muning.

Under the auspices of a full mun
I am muning,
Bleeding for a lost bella bubba,
Grieving for another past opportunity to be mumma,
Wishing my lover could travel to me
By the speed of light,
To lessen my pain – my mental fight,
To lay his head upon my knee,
To kiss my brow and set me free,
To stroke my belly and my thigh,
To play with me until night is nigh,

To them together fall into slumber,
Unawares of rain and thunder,
Unawares of rain and thunder,
Unawares of wordly troubles,
Safe in pleasant, dreamy bubble.

Blessed by the local evening folk,
By faery’s, elves and wizard’s cloak,
In mountain haven bush-creek home,
Where I may grow from maiden to crone,

But for now, we precious sleep,
Protected by Earth’s gentle weep,
Of soft rain to nourish and cleanse,
Whilst universal light against the dark defends,
To keep us warm and safe from harm
Sweet dreaming, cradled in nature’s arms.

3.11.2004